Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is the idea that we must maintain an upbeat, optimistic outlook at all times, even in the face of genuine pain or hardship.

This mindset can be harmful because it dismisses real emotions and invalidates personal experiences, leaving little room for the full range of emotions. It encourages a culture where only positive emotions are considered valid, and anything that deviates from this is dismissed as something to “get over.”

For example, imagine someone who has just lost a loved one. When they express their grief, being told “everything happens for a reason” or “just look on the bright side” can feel dismissive, as it minimises the depth of their sorrow rather than acknowledging it.

Imagine a friend sharing their struggles with anxiety or depression and is met with responses like “just stay positive” or “you have so much to be happy about.” These comments can inadvertently make them feel misunderstood or isolated.

Or what about an employee experiencing burnout that says they are struggling and is met with, “You just need to keep a positive attitude.” These responses fail to address the root issues and can increase a sense of alienation for someone who is already struggling.

Thinking about the impact of these responses:

• How often have you seen or perhaps even participated in reactions downplaying someone’s struggles with just stay positive?
• Consider how it can leave someone feeling invalidated, as though their emotions don’t matter and aren’t acknowledged.
• Have you ever been on the receiving end of such comments?
• How did you respond, and what impact did that have on you?

One of the key issues with toxic positivity is that it works to mask pain rather than process it. Emotions like grief, anger, and sadness are brushed aside or framed as problems to fix instead of being seen as natural responses to life’s challenges.

If we don’t allow space for these feelings, we risk preventing healing and personal growth. In the end, by promoting only positivity, we lose the richness of expressing ourselves honestly and authentically.

So, I invite you into this conversation:

• Reflect on your own interactions with toxic positivity.
• Whether you’ve been a contributor or a recipient, how did it feel to be told that you should just get over it or stay positive?
• What could have been a more supportive, understanding response in those moments?

Let’s explore together how we can foster a culture of validation and authenticity, where both positive and negative emotions have a space to exist and heal.